Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
