I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize