How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
