also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need a beard to bite.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
