Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
