So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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