you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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