Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize