the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
