dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
