He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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