That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm passing your future prison.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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