I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
