We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
