Sponge bath it is.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
