If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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