I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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