Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
