how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
