You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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