It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
