it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize