Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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