If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
