I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
