I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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