I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
