As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
