wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
