she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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