smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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