Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
