But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
