yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
