So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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