I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
