She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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