We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
