we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize