I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
As shirtless as possible
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
