Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
