...so i touched it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
