Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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