The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize