i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
