I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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