Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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