just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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