I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
