When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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