oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
