Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
