then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Randomize
