So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
