I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
