There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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