she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
