Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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