Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
